Theme: Authenticity
Scripture: Psalm 139: 13-14 The New
International Version
For you created
my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am
fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful; I know that full well.
Devotional:
During yesterday’s worship service, Rev. Bill White, our guest minister, spoke
of maturing, becoming who we are, who we will be. I was struck by that thought
for the better part of the day. For me, it raised some questions about what it
means to live an authentic life. This is not my first time reflecting on what
it means to be authentic. In fact, I probably spend too much time in my head
thinking and reflecting 😊 I landed and ended my day reflecting on authenticity, what
it is, who I am and how I do – and don’t – lean into authenticity daily.
In the book, A Whosoever Church: Welcoming Lesbians and Gay Men into African
American Congregations, Rev. Dr. Jacquelyn Grant was asked, “What kind of
advice do you have for African American lesbians and gay men who are trying to
find a church or who are thinking about leaving the church (133)?” Her response, “my advice most times is,
‘well, if you leave the church, who’s going to be there to fight; who’s going
to be there to struggle; who’s going to be there to change things?”
When I first
admitted that I was committed to living a full, balanced life, that is, fully
engaged to my Call as a minister/Pastor *and* completely connected to my
relationship with my same gender spouse I was ready to ‘leave the church.’ Though I desperately wanted to continue my
service to God and God’s people, I was willing to ‘turn in my collar’ because I
was painfully aware of the treatment of the LGBTQIA+ community in many
Christian faith traditions. The thought
of leaving, however, made my heart grieve. My heart could not bear the idea of
walking away. So, instead I committed to staying and engaging with my colleagues
in the work of reframing the spiritual journey of Christian faith. This was God’s gift of love to me.
My journey is not complete. For me part
of the journey toward loving myself is to continue to seek, search and find what Howard Thurman calls “The Sound of the Genuine.”
He says “there is in every person something that waits and listens for the
sound of the genuine in herself…nobody like you has ever been born and no one
like you will ever be born again – you are the only one…don’t be deceived and
thrown off by all of the noises that are a part even of your dreams and your
ambitions that you don’t hear the sound of the genuine in you.” (The Sound of the Genuine, Baccalaureate
Address, University of Indianapolis)
I am a daughter, a sister, a wife, and a friend. I am a pastor, a student, and a teacher. I am all these things because I hear the
genuine in myself. And I love hearing
that sound, which at times is garbled and distorted; I am learning to be okay
with that, too. But the best part of it
all is that if I am quite enough and we can trust
each other enough to move past some of our otherness, I can hear
the sound of the genuine in you, too.
Prayer:
God, help me to see me. Sometimes I am a
mess – unforgiving, selfish, I lack grace and waste opportunities to do good.
And other times, I am full of compassion for my neighbors, love for my enemies
and grace for myself. It doesn’t make sense *and* I know that I am fearfully
and wonderfully made. Help me to lean into this knowledge of myself and to accept
that I am still becoming who I am. Selah.
Reflection Question:
Who are you, really? How do you show up for yourself? Do you show up for
yourself? What areas are the most authentic you?
Thought provoking reflection questions worth pondering. I often think of what I like (music, writing, sports, reading) but I seldom think of the genuine, authentic me, wonderfully and fearfully made. Thanks for the encouragement to dig deeper.
ReplyDeleteThank you for engaging authentically in this Lenten reflection. I appreciate your honest reflection and responses. And I encourage you to continue to think about genuine and authentic YOU!
DeleteAs is often said, right on time. My authenticity - a profoundly different way to now look at what I’m suddenly going through - craving has abruptly, again presented. It’s seemingly the same, and definitely different from “decades back, yes, decades back. It comes with an unforeseen twist. To me, a twist reflective of personally “needed, ‘reached for, and, life-forced’ growth”, no matter “All is Well! But, it’s such an endeavor, long commitment, and already bumps up against my age. But, each time I allow myself to hear what is to be heard, feel how it makes me feel, and then allow myself to lean into it, I immediately calm to the depths of my heart…. Much praying to be done. Many thanks for “this” now.
ReplyDeleteAh! Thank you - in this moment - seems appropriate to me. I am grateful for your willingness to open yourself and be vulnerable to reflect (and share!) As you continue to posture yourself to hear (and be heard!), may you do so with great anticipation that God will respond! Even without knowing your name, I am praying for your heart. I am praying that whatever you need to hear in *this season, will be revealed and received in your spirit. Blessings on your journey!
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